Did I Sacrifice my Own Career?

Do you miss work?” “Aren’t you wasting a college degree.” “Do you feel like your missing out?”

All common questions (and slight jabs) that I receive. Not working at the age of 23 when all my friends are just now getting jobs has been a very odd, unsettling feeling. It has taken me awhile to brush it off, accept it, and truly understand where I am in life and to be at peace with it. Let me fill in the blanks for you real quick.

I graduated from Arizona State University at the age of 21. I got my bachelor’s degree in Marketing in 3 years while raising our twins. My mom’s biggest dream was for me to graduate college. That was really the whole reason I was there- because she wanted me to be. I did enjoy college though. Now I am not saying I LOVED it, but I did like it. I have always been a little nerdy and I love the feeling of having a lot to do and things to keep learning. Yes, it sucked lol. I always took 20-23 credit hours to finish early so I was often too busy. But once I graduated, I had this really odd feeling of, “now what?

I had just spent the last 18 years of my life in school. It felt odd to not be busy doing online homework and class discussion posts. I had a job lined up for after graduation- I worked full-time as an enrollment counselor at Arizona College for their nursing program. Dream job? no. lol. But it was a very good paying job and had a lot of room for personal growth.

But as I was spending my days in the office, all I could think about was going back to school. I had always imagined myself getting my masters degree, getting a kick-ass, high paying job, and just being a total boss babe. I love a woman of power. I really wanted to go back to school. I missed it. I still do honestly. But at that point in life, I knew that as soon as I committed to doing grad school, Jake would get called up. You can’t just miss grad school either, you have to be all there. 100%. So I knew it was something that wasn’t in the cards for me at that moment.

After about 6 months at my job, Jake had spent the entire off-season on daddy duty by himself. I will always respect him beyond words for that. I know what its like to spend day after day with your kids, and while some may think its a dream come true, it is really freaking hard when you have twins. And especially as a father who spends quite a bit of time away from his kids. I felt like I was missing SO much. The kids were growing and talking and I was always at work. As we approached our wedding and the 2017 season, we knew I was needed elsewhere. We decided I have the rest of my life to work, if that is what I want to do, but I only have this time with my kids at this age. So I knew I needed to put my own career and dreams of grad school to the side and focus on my kids and getting prepared for a life changing season for Jake.

And thank God we made that choice. 

I get asked ALL THE TIME what it’s like being young and a stay at home mom and if feel like I wasted a college degree. No, I will never say an education is a waste. It was expensive, yes. But it  was worth every penny- whether or not I work another day in my life. An education is never a waste.

And contrary to what everyone thinks, I do miss working. You would think that being 23 and not working sounds like a dream come true. And let me first say this- I am not complaining. I am beyond grateful for what I get to do every day. But this is not what I was born to do. I love my kids and I love being home with my kids. But I know I have potential and power to do something amazing. So this is not my dream job. This is the highlight of Jake’s life. I am here to enjoy and support him through it. And since we share this lifestyle, his career goals have quickly become my own career goals. Seeing Jake succeed and be a part of that tiny 10% of athletes who make it to the major leagues has filled me with so much joy and love. And shown me what it is like to be truly passionate about a career. No one, besides his family, wants him to succeed more than I do.

As of right now, I don’t know what I would even do that I could be as passionate about like he is. AND THAT IS OK. I am young. My possibilities are endless. But right now just isn’t my own spotlight time. And I am ok with that. Sure, It could be! I could go back to school right now and start my own career while Jake is doing his, but I don’t want to. I want to experience this once in a lifetime moment with my family. I want to be Jake’s support system. I want to help with his career. Because I know that whenever I am ready to pursue my own path- Jake is going to do the exact same for me. Whether it is in a year or in 10 years. When it is my time to shine, we will work as a team to get me there.

As for now, I am content and happy to be where I am. It’s where I am meant to be during this season of life. He could not do this without a solid support system. No athlete could. So that is my role right now, and I love it. I will never take these moments for granted.

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