Why I Chose to Use Formula + Screw the Mommy Shamers.

Sharing this blog post today is something I kind of went back and forth about. I know my opinion/view on this is different than the majority of women’s out there, but I also know there are other women out there who share the same opinion. I believe fed is best. I don’t care whether you breastfed, or you use formula, or you use someone else’s breast milk, or maybe before bed time you give your breastfed baby a bottle with rice cereal in it. TRULY, I do not care. I am sharing this in hopes to let other mom’s not feel ashamed in their feeding journey. And maybe show other people that it really shouldn’t matter to you on how other people decide to feed their baby.

I attempted to exclusively pump for about a month with Penelope and Jones, but I had to supplement with formula during that time because I could not keep up with their demand. Finally I realized pumping for twins while in school & working was not ideal for me. I had NO remorse switching to only formula. I didn’t feel guilty. I just knew my babies had to eat and that was that. I couldn’t give them what they needed, but thankfully in today’s day and age there are hundreds of different formula options to continue to nourish your baby.

When this second time rolled around, I knew from the moment I found out I was pregnant that I would not be breast feeding. I feel like (for some odd reason) that is a shock to most women. I get asked a lot, “You didn’t even try?”  No, I didn’t. And why should that concern anyone? Maybe you’re just curious, and I get that. But trust me I can tell when it is coming from a not so genuine place. 

So yes, I didn’t try. Why? I simply didn’t want to. Its just not for me. Now… what am I about to say I know most people don’t agree with. But they are my reasons. And maybe someone out feels this way and they feel like they’re a bad mother. So I will say it so that they don’t feel so alone. The thought of me breastfeeding a baby just simply weirds me out. Now don’t get mad, I did not say YOU breastfeeding a baby weirds me out, just myself. Maybe it is because neither me or my sister were breastfed and we also didn’t breastfeed any of our babies. I’m not sure to be honest, it just simply is not for ME and my lifestyle. 

Both my pregnancies fell at the exact same time- during the end of baseball season. So I spend those hard newborn weeks alone. I don’t have a husband there at night to talk to while I try and figure out breastfeeding. What I enjoy about formula for my lifestyle is that it makes asking for help so much easier. Because anyone can give a baby a bottle. I needed that flexibility while I was in school and even now as a stay at home mom whose husband is gone, I just need the help sometimes.

Another reason is I feel my best physically and mentally when my body is my best. I enjoy feeling confident and sexy and embracing my body. I hear lots of women comparing themselves to a milk machine when they breastfeed. I know they’re kidding and they love being the source of food for their babies. I applaud each and every mama out there who breastfeeds. I, however, just didn’t want to feel that way about my body. I already struggle with lots of anxiety and depression. I had just sacrificed 9 months to grow a baby and I didn’t feel the most comfortable in my skin at that time. I just wanted my body to myself and my husband. I have to raise these humans for the rest of my life, so yes, let me have a little piece of myself😉

My reasons are selfish and I admit that, but guess what? At the end of the day my baby is still eating!!! Growing, learning, nourishing. He is FED. That should be all that matters. There are women who are ashamed to breastfeed in public. And I know women who are ashamed to give their baby a bottle in public. How do both types beat mom shaming? You just have to be confident. Don’t feel shameful with yourself and then the mommy shamers won’t get to you. Whip the booby out in public and feed that baby. Shake that bottle with confidence. Maybe you prefer to feed in private because that’s what makes YOU comfortable, rock on. Do whatever you want! I promise people are going to judge you NO MATTER WHAT. As long you’re content with your decision, then nothing else should matter.

So before you decide to mom shame someone next time, simply remember it’s none of your damn business on how they choose to parent 😇 

1 Comment

  • Reply Susan August 21, 2019 at 10:00 pm

    As a longtime nurse who has worked for 42 years in maternity, pediatrics, NICU, Labor and Delivery, and the nursery – I applaud your openness and honest. What’s best for a baby is what is best for a family as a whole unit. I’ve seen more uptight moms trying to nurse because they feel they MUST or because it’s “the right thing to do”. Do we not think this anxiety is felt by the baby? I surely think it is. Sometimes as moms we push aside our own needs for the needs of others. It has taken me 63 years to figure out that I need to take care of me to be the best me I can be for my family. Wish I had your decisiveness and will when I was your age. Rock on – I love reading your blog and thank you for sharing.

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