Slow mornings.. Sipping coffee.. two kids playing happily outside while I read some the daily news.. Dinner already in the oven for the night.. ahhhhh. Stay at home mom life, right?
Staying at home with two (angry) little toddlers is some days, more than I bargained for. #NoOffense But honestly, it is a down right hard job. Now I know I said that becoming a stay at home mom in 2017 was one of my highlights, and it genuinely was! But it was a job that I never could have imagined being as hard as it is. Still being as hard as it is, I cannot picture spending my days any other way.
Here are the things you need to know if you’re becoming a stay at home mom!
- You are going to feel like a big, fat failure some days. That is the ugly truth right there. Some days I wake up to my kids smothering me in kisses. Asking to watch a movie and snuggle. Those are the days I am like, “Damn, today is going to rock. Finally a picture perfect day!” but then there are days I wake up to a bottle being chucked at my head saying, “MORE!!!!” Those are the days I dread. I just know, wow. This is not going to be an easy one is it kids? And that sucks. Because I haven’t even had a chance to make an impact on their day, yet they are somehow already so sassy and full of anger. I blame myself and then our day is just downhill. But don’t let that happen to YOU! Know better than to let your kids dictate your mood for the day! Toddlers just wake up mad some days. We can’t change that.
- You never know how the day is going to go. Did you even read point number 1?! It is a hit or miss. Our best days come out of the blue. They are the days that we have nothing to do. No plans. But yet, my kids behave like little angels. Then there are the days that we have 100 things to do, but we can’t even leave the house because someone refuses to put on their pants.
- You will cry. MY GOD will you cry. Maybe it’s just me… but I cry a lot lol. I get so frustrated when I have two tiny humans refusing to walk to the car because they would rather lay in the parking lot and scream. Those are the moments I want to just UHHHHH put in my two weeks notice for being a stay at home mom! But those are the most important moments for how we shape our children’s behavior. Sure, it is easy to snap and yell and get angry. And honestly, that is usually what I do in the heat of the moment. But something I am working on is being more understanding and stop feeling the need to be rushed. I need to slow our pace and listen to my kids and their feelings.
- It is not all about the toys, it is all about YOU. You are their toy. You could have 4198263586 toys to occupy your kids. But if you aren’t on the ground, engaging and playing with them, then they aren;t going to care about those toys. You think if you just have all the toys in the world that your kids will be busy all day long. It’s not true. They just want to play WITH you. They want to interact, learn, laugh.. and those are the moments that make this job so sweet.
- Your routine is going to change. Someone will sleep in. Someone will (again) not want to put pants on. Someone will take 3 poops before you even get to the gym. I am a schedule fanatic. But I have come to understand that some days we just have to roll with the punches & the tantrums.
- You and your kids will get bored. There will be days where you just HAVE to leave the house because you are so bored. Que the Target runs! Getting your kids out of the house and in public is good for them. AND FOR YOU.
- There is STILL not enough time in the day to get all the meals perfectly prepared, right on time. If your husband is expecting to come home to perfect cooked meal and the laundry all put away, he deserves a good LOL in the face because that is not happening. Yeah, some days I am a rockstar and I accomplish a sh** ton. Other days I can’t even find time to take a sh** lol. seriously.
- Even though you are a stay at home mom, you will still need the occasional sitter. I really struggled with this at first! I felt like I was failing at my one job if I needed to get sitter during the day to go get my hair done or run errands that were just easier with no kids. Now no judgements here please, but Jake and I looked into daycare for two days a week even though I was staying at home. I was absolutely losing my mind. Jake was gone for the season, I was at home all. day. long. There would be multiple days at a time where I didn’t speak to another adult. I really wanted them in daycare so I could use the two days to do errands because when it is 120 degrees outside, the last thing you want to do is corral twins into a hot steaming car. So, if you are a mom who feels this same way.. don’t let the guilt ruin it for you. Just do it.
- LET GO. Sounds easy, but I am still learning this one. Some days you just have to let go, let the kids run the show, and enjoy the memories you are making. Forget about your to-do list, forget about the dishwasher, forget about the Leggos you just picked up…just let the kids live.
- Make time for you. Since day 1 I have always made time for myself. I am way past the guilt stage here lol. This is SO incredibly important for you to feel good about yourself and your job. I take little weekend trips just me and my hubby, or I sometimes get a sitter so I can grocery shop in peace and quiet. It makes me a better mom. Simple as that. I have been wanting to wake up before my kids for a while.. but it is so hard!! They enjoy sleeping till about 8:30/9. I should be able to get up before them… but I hate alarms. Hoping I can start doing this in the new year!
- You win, you lose. But with kids, you always win. I can’t even count the times my son tells me, “go away!!”. He yells at me. He hits me. My daughter won’t hug me. Those are the failure moments for sure. And some times they are so stinking stubborn that I do want to go away. But I take a step back, look at these two tiny humans I created, and I just know that I am winning in life because of them.
I hope you enjoyed this post! If you found it useful, please pin above the image so other moms can relate! All photos were taking by Mari Photography.