What it’s Really Like to be a Professional Athlete’s Wife

The question I get the most, even from complete strangers, is “what is it like to be a professional baseball player’s wife?” I always just say laugh and say, “Its crazy but it’s worth it.” Which is 100% true. But it is a very short truth compared to what it actually is…

I am not writing this for people to throw a pity party for the wives/GFs of professional athletes.. But I am writing it to give an insight on how truly hard this life style can be.

So many people will first say “I am so jealous of your life”.. that’s like kind of a low blow to me because honestly sometimes I am jealous of those couples who both are working 8-5 jobs to come home to their husband every night. I don’t think people realize how freaking long a baseball season is. It’s 6 months long. Not counting the almost 2 months of spring training. ALSO not counting the chance of playoffs. Add that all up and you’re looking at basically 9 months of nonstop games and travel. Another thing some people don’t realize- there is a baseball game EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Holidays included. There is the occasional off day every 2-3 weeks.. which is usually spent on a bus driving 5-14 hours to the next game location. That takes a toll on a man’s mind + body.. it also takes a toll on the loved ones who are supporting him. Like I said.. it is a long freaking season and unfortunately a lot of the wives/GFs spend the bulk of that time alone.

Not only is the season long, but the season requires the players to travel all over the place. Yes, it is a great opportunity to travel and get to see new places.. but so many of the women I have met are students or workers or mothers. I have actually been all 3 of those things at once before while also being a supporting fiancé. You can’t just drop school or work because your husband is pitching the season opener (oops… wait I have.. I missed the first week of classes to see Jake pitch opening game in Lexington., KY only for it to get rained out LOL). It is hard, and usually impossible, to take weeks off school or work. So you try to manage a healthy relationship by seeing each other on 3 day weekends once a month. That’s why I cannot stand when people say they are jealous! Are you genuinely jealous that I see my husband once a month?? Doubt it.

Then there are the emotions. Not just the emotions of “GOD I MISS MY HUSBAND” or those emotions of “Why can’t my husband be at my college graduation??” I don’t mean those emotions, although those also suck. I am talking the post game emotions. The mid-season-exhausted emotions. The emotions that the players feel every day. Usually, us wives are the first person to talk to the player after a game. That can be great, unless it wasn’t a great game. This is especially true for pitchers. We either get all of the excitement… or all the pissey/debbie downer emotions. And usually we’re handing this all via text because ONCE AGAIN… we are on opposite sides of the country. It sucks. And finding the right words is neverrrr easy. We have to stay positive and hopeful, even when we aren’t so sure ourselves, because they need to hear it from us.

I’m making this seem horrible, I know. I don’t mean to do that. Because let’s be real… we all know the perks of this type of lifestyle. That’s why so many people will openly tell me they are jealous of it. But it is not an easy life style to be a part of. The players have to grind for years in order to get to a place where it is actually a rewarding career. And then all those years while they are grinding it out, we have to be there for them and try to be as positive as possible. It is physically and mentally draining day after day, for everyone involved. But it can be done. And it will be done because although it is a long and rigorous journey… it can be a very rewarding journey as well. One day we will look back and be thankful for grinding it out together – as a family. Because it seriously takes a family. The player’s parents, the siblings, and the wives…we all have played a special role in getting that player to where he is. And although it is never an easy role, it will always be a role worth having.

1 Comment

  • Reply Pat Habbena February 19, 2017 at 6:18 am

    You are absolutely right. It is a long season and you are away from your spouses and children most of the year. Rewarding, yes, but remaining positive when you are not positive is truly an accomplishment. In the long run watching your husband accomplish his dreams makes it all worthwhile, even though you probably had to give up alot of your dreams.

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